I'm always putting on a normal facade and trying to act like everything's alright. Staying like this, i feel like i'm not going anywhere at all. Whenever i'm back, and i know its just on my part that i always felt like this. Feeling like i'm lacking, and ugly compared to the rest. And then envy and jealousy will consume me. I know this negativity comes from within me solely. But as i stay here, this negativity never fades, no matter how much i try to convince myself to get rid of those thoughts and emotions. I wanna break free, from this shell that i hide in. Can i improve myself and be a better person when i'm like this? Caught in my own trap while searching for a way out? What can i do? Can somebody just light that path for me to walk on. I need it badly. Cos i wanna stop with this pretense. Before i finally snap. Please.

Hi blog, its a wonder that I can still remember the password.
Oh wait, of course I would, and I definitely should get it changed.
Don't want to always be reminded of that everytime i log in, would I.

Anyway, lets update on what's been happening these past month or so.
Well, the kids returned to school, and brought with them the never ending flu.
Two of the kids in my class has transferred out, Finlay and Eleni.
The two best buddies.
Haha...i'm seriously going to miss both of them.
Especially Finlay. The little pompom head that I've got to be close with.
Its so heartbreaking to see them go.
But oh well, nothing is permanent.
I wish both of them all the best and pray that they will grow up well.
I seriously miss both of them now.

Its Ramadan right now and today was the 2nd day of fasting!
How fast can it be?
Really, time wait for no one, man.
And soon, the year is going to end and then it will be 2012.
Anyway, to all the Muslims out there, Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa!

Gosh! I've been sick for the past 4 days, 5 if you include today.
High fever, on and off, on and off.
Alhamdulillah, I feel so much better now that the fever's all gone.
Missing work and the adorable kids.! Awwwww!!
Hope everything will be the same when I return to school on Monday.
Please let it be.
Gonna crossed my fingers and pray with all might. Haha...

I really thought I'd gotten the dengue fever since I was bitten by an aedes mosquito last week.
Thankfully it is not!! Phew!

To my mama who's in the hospital right now.
Please don't be too sad, mama.
Redhakan ape yg telah terjadi, k.
You can't change anything that has happened.
You will just have to live on and make do with what you have.
I'll always be here for you, don't think that your world is over.
It is definitely not.
I love you lots and lots mama.
I will visit u soon, InsyaAllah.

I think I really need to change my password for this blogger.
Everytime i type in my password, i'll feel a little upset.
Dun ask me why, I'm not gonna explain.

And today I seriously feel much more tired than usual.
I guess maybe its due to the fact i've been running around chasing the kids all the time.
I was thrown to the Playgroup class today since one of their teachers are absent.
And the kids being 2 yrs old n below, they tend to only stay still for a short period of time.
While they are moving about, these children will almost always get into some sort of an accident, which will end up with them crying their eyeballs out.
And thats the reason why i need to always be on my toes.
Their safety is the most important.
But I missed spending time with the kids in my own class.
And today we had the rain experiential learning.
I wanted to do that activity together with them.
Awwwwww..............................

Yesterday I had a wonderful time with my sis and our frens from our workplace.
We went to Marina Bay Sands to visit out colleague and fren who was transfered there.
It was our first time visiting the place.
And I think its a really beautiful place.
We went out to a place where it overlook the s'pore river.
Its totally an amazing scenery, especially at night.
I can just sit there and stare at the river water all night, without doing anything else.
Love the atmosphere, but I kind of recall some memories.
Makes me tear up a little.
Oh well, what's gone is gone.
My fault too, I guess.
Alright, below are some pics that we took while over there.

"HAPPY VESAK DAY!!!"

And it's raining! Its so nice to be home in this kind of weather, don't you think so?
But somehow today, its making me feel kind of melancholic.
I can't figure out why my heart feels so heavy.
Oh well, just gonna let it be......I'm sure its just a momentary thing.

Anyway, there's some things that's been on my mind.
The death of Osama, and then the people who's avenging his death.
I don't care that he's dead, and people, what has been done is done!
He did a bad thing in the first place, and so..........you people should just get a life and move on man!
How can u, as a muslim, kill others? Is that what u'll call a peaceful religion?
I think not.
I may not know much, but I do know that killing and being hostile will lead to nowhere.
Can't people just get along with each other??
Urgh.....I'm giving myself a headache pondering about this matter........

I really feel that I'm turning into a real workaholic.
Work work and work is the only thing that I've been doing.
The free time I have I used it to rest, and spent it with my family.
Where is my social life? Haha, I wonder too.....
And I need to save up for the course that I want to take.
Cut down on shopping pls, Yasmin!!!!